Cajeck's Lair

Prayer of the Rollerboys Review Pt. 2

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A picture of the B-13 gang showing up to shoot at the Rollerboys at their hangout.

Anyway, Griffin soon discovers his little brother slinging Mist with the Rollerboys. In disgust, Griff grabs his wad of cash and tells Miltie that this is “drug money”. This will matter for later on. While he’s in the middle of telling his bro off, the rival gang the cops had disguised themselves as (I think they’re called the 3-13ers? B-13ers? The actors do a real shit job pronouncing things clearly, it was hard to tell) show up to shoot up the place. Griffin tries to get away, but is cornered by two of them. Bullwinkle shows up though to save him, and gleefully tells him they’re even now.

This latest event is what pushes Griffin over the edge. He finally goes to Rodgers and agrees to infiltrate the Rollerboys in exchange for a ticket out of the city and an education for Miltie (apparently education of any kind requires money in this dystopia.)

A truly horrible picture of Griffin making the dumbest, ugliest faces.
A truly horrible picture of Griffin making the dumbest, ugliest faces. Again. This one is taken from the same scene and angle.
Just some examples of those "dumb faces" I referenced Corey Haim doing. Also a perfect example of his HORRIBLE hair. I think they were going for some messy bad boy look, but it just looks like he has bad cowlicks.

This movie does show its age. Really badly. Haim's character Griffin is hard to like. He isn't brimming with kindness or many other redeeming qualities. He treats women like crap, and seems to harbor especially cruel attitudes towards people suffering drug addiction. This is a prevalent attitude from this time, mind you. I can leave all that archaic thinking back in the 80s and 90s and take the good stuff, though!

A picture of a smirking Griffin in his Rollerboy disguise with a baseball cap whose bill is folded up and round glasses with a mirror finish.
A picture of Griffin in his Rollerboy disguise with a baseball cap whose bill is folded up and round glasses with a mirror finish at a phonebooth.
His hair looks much better here.

I actually really love the over-the-top fashion in this movie. The sunglasses, up-turned baseball cap bills, and yes, the white duster coats. The gang DOES create a striking image as they fly around in the things. And the hair! I could keep on taking screenshots of these boys, holy shit. Sometimes it's just out of ironic appreciation for how TRULY BAD their hair looks, and other times because they actually look pretty good! Yes! Even the mullets!

I'm going to go out on a limb though, and say that this movie runs on waaaay too long for what it is. You do not need 1hr and 34min to tell your predictable "racism and drugs are bad" tale. Keeping this under an 1hr 20min really would have improved the pacing. That and not losing its precious run time to stupid crap like Griffin just milling around, brooding.

A shot of the fiery night time initiation ritual for Griffin when he 'joins' the Rollerboys.

The whole initiation process for Griffin was very, very late 80s. First a test via a deadly rollerskating race to infiltrate a heavily guarded facility whilst a bunch of security guards who can’t aim shoot at Griffin and his fellow Rollerboy hopefuls. Then, later at the initiation ceremony, a bunch of dudes standing around in white dusters chant like morons, “Rollerboys rule!” while there’s fire everywhere. King was obviously trying to invoke the feeling of the Klu Klux Klan. They really needed a burning cross to really complete the picture. You have guys saying “Day of the rope!” over and over, you may as well. Also, their gang salute is to hold up two fists? It looks terribly foolish.

A shot of the 1986 El Dorado Starfire camper van Griffin rushed out to buy with his newly acquired drug money. Another picture of a 1986 El Dorado Starfire camper van. This one isn't from the movie, I just wanted a picture that had clearer details visible.

So Griffin starts to walk the walk and talk the talk. With the new money he’s earning, he buys a brand new camper van. I don’t understand this film’s fixation on geometric vans. I guess the sharp angles and slanted front ends make them look like spaceships, which makes them look “futuristic?” Anyway, the camper Griffin bought was a 1986 El Dorado Starfire. I… GUESS it looks retro futuristic. But even at the time of this film’s release, this thing was already a few years old.

About halfway through the film we get a "sex" scene with Casey and Griffin. It’s...ew. It lacks build up, and Arquette and Haim lack any chemistry. There's... way, way, waaaay too much finger licking. The dialogue was something out of a bad porno. Fortunately, Casey throws Griffin's shorts in his face and tells him to take a hike. Serves him right for what an asshole he was to her in the beginning of the film!

A picture of Casey licking Corey Haim's fingers from a kneeling position while he sits in a chair. It's gross.

It’s all made worse by the fact that the dirty cops have been assigned to keep surveillance on Griffin on his undercover mission. They took bets on whether or not these young folk were gonna have sex…which was beyond unsavory. Which is I guess the point? But the film treats it almost like a fun moment. Very creepy. Very, very creepy.

A picture of the Rollerboys swooping in their typical flying V formation for a surprise attack against the B-13 gang. They can be seen toting semi-automatic rifles.

This movie is also unusually violent. It sort of comes out of nowhere. One second it’s just some campy mess, then it’s suddenly a violent campy mess. There’s bloody shootings, brutal beatings, and there was even one shot of some dude who had inexplicably lost a leg during a big gunfight. Also lending to the film’s R rating was the constant flashing of bare breasts. It mostly happens in the beginning of the film, but it just felt forced and kinda distasteful. Not because freed boobs are bad, but because in all the scenes where women were half-naked they were also being overtly objectified.

A picture of Bango cheering on the beating of Speedbagger.

Griffin does his level best to earn enough trust so that he can get inside the Rollerboy’s Mist operation, and of course, along the way he steps on toes. His brother Miltie becomes addicted to Mist. He struggles through a gang strike against the B-13ers(?). To prove his loyalty, he’s tricked/forced to attack Speedbagger.

A picture of Gary Lee letting Griffin into their 'super-secure' camper van, where the Rollerboys cook up their Mist.

Then, inexplicably, despite all signs to the contrary, Gary Lee decides to trust Griffin enough to let him in on the Mist operation. This is what leads to the film’s climactic events. Griffin is in the belly of the beast, a “super secure” metal camping trailer with a fucking hand scanner (that even Bullwinkle points out is all pointless if someone just rams a truck into the side of the damn thing). Whilst our hero doles out Mist to the gang’s prepubescent dealers, he learns from Bango (Mark Pellegrino), his shift buddy and Gary Lee’s right hand man, that the drugs are actually laced with chemical agents meant to cull the “unwanted” populations via sterilizing them.

A picture of Gary Lee's 'special ingredient' for Mist. It has a giant yellow sticker featuring a black skull and crossbones. They really couldn't be anymore obvious, could they?

This is why Gary Lee has a strict rule against his Rollerboys using the drug. The chemical mixture is literally called “The Rope” because its Lee’s “final solution”. Y’know, like the Nazis!

A picture of the crooked cops coming to steal the Mist and kill Griffin. The white cop is in the background to the left getting the goods while the black cop, wearing a backwards baseball cap, looms over Griffin in the foreground.

The cops show up and tell our hero to stand back while they blast their way in. Bango, realizing that Griff is a traitor, proceeds to kick his ass. Whilst Griffin is barely holding his own against the Rollerboy, the dirty cops blast their way into the “super secure” camper and shoot the aryan kid dead. Griffin at first thinks they are there to rescue him, but then they reveal they intend to steal the Mist for themselves. They’re about to kill him too, because he’s a witness, but then Casey suddenly shows up with the other cops and blasts them, proving that you can cram in as many deus ex machina’s as you want when you have a main character that lacks any sort of strength, natural skill, or resourcefulness.

A picture of Casey coming into the drug camper to save Griffin's butt. She's wearing a backwards baseball cap and wielding a semi-automatic rifle.

Griffin really is the worst undercover agent ever. His usefulness really just boils down to Gary Lee having a soft spot for him. Nothing he’s done in this movie has been because he’s been especially clever or skilled. He just reacts, often poorly, to whatever situation is thrown at him. The only times Griffin seemed to have any real agency was when he decided to save Bullwinkle and when he decided to go undercover. After that, he’s just been doing a shitty job at keeping his head down and getting lucky because of the villain’s sentimentality.

Later, when the cops are in a standoff with Gary Lee and the Rollerboys, the latter holding Miltie hostage, the best line of the film happens.

“Give us the drugs, dum dum,” Gary Lee tells Griffin contemptuously.

Griffin’s little brother Miltie is fantastically annoying. The ENTIRE time he’s being held hostage, he’s whining at his brother to hurry up and save him. He sounds less scared and more like he’s demanding ice cream. It’s astounding they went through with that take. I mean, were the production folks not paying attention during this scene, or what? Surely someone heard how grating this was!

There is a final chase between Griffin and Gary Lee that naturally involved skating, and I was impressed with how quickly they scaled stairs. I remember inline skates being freaking heavy. This whole sequence was somehow more unfathomable than the hostage scene. Like… Gary Lee had a gun, and he wasn’t that far off from Griffin! WHY DIDN’T HE JUST SHOOT HIM?!

A picture of the final chase between Griffin and Gary Lee. We see Lee is not that far from Griffin, aiming his gun. Griffin, in the foreground, looks frantically over his shoulder at his pursuer
The Rollerboys truly are as bad as stormtroopers.

Well, Griffin somehow gives Gary Lee the runaround, cuz Gary is a lousy shot, and eventually he gets the drop on him to finally win the day. The Rollerboys get locked up and the Mist operation (and its dastardly eugenics agenda) is ended. Griffin, Miltie, Casey, and Speedbagger take the new van (bought with drug money, but I guess Griffin doesn’t care about that anymore, despite telling Miltie as much before) and head to Oregon. Because that’s where the promised land is. Apparently.

A picture of Griffin, Casey, Milton, and Speedbagger all inside the new camper van on their way to Oregon. A happy ending, I guess.
Remember that quip Griffin had for his brother about that dirty, dirty drug money he was earning? Note that this hypocritical jerk is STILL riding in the camper van he bought with the same exact kinda money. Asshole.

Ah, but if our "heroes" think they are scot free, they couldn't be more wrong! Gary Lee, from his fucking prison cell turned corporate office plots with his financial assistant to follow Griffin to Oregon. I guess the hope was that they could do a bigger and better sequel. Alas, we never got that.

A picture of Gary Lee spray-painting his already graffiti-covered wall.
A close-up picture of Gary Lee against the prison bars.
A picture of Gary Lee's financial assistant inside the prison cell, sitting at a desk with what looks like a small computer or maybe even a digital typewriter. He's wearing dark glasses and a dark suit with a black tie.
Seriously, wtf kind of prison is this. He's spray-painted his cell. He's got a DESK WITH A COMPUTER. And he's allowed to have his financial assistant INSIDE with him?!

I suppose in alot of ways this is technically an 80s film. Alot of the filming was apparently done before the turn of the decade, which explains some of the cornball dialogue and action. I really enjoyed the soundtrack for this one. It’s mostly cheesy late 80s fare.

Now, I guess this is where the analysis part of this review would go. But quite frankly? I don’t really feel like doing that. I’m not a film critic. But I can say that this film is an interesting little capsule of some of the attitudes and fears of this time period.

In the late 80s and early 90s, the Japanese were seen as some big economic threat to the US. During production and even at the time of release, the Cold War was still very much going on. Prayer of the Rollerboys premiered at the Milan International Film Festival in October 1990, before (presumably) premiering in American theaters in November 1990. It’s just interesting timing that this released almost one year prior to the fall of the Soviet Union on December 26th, 1991.

A picture of the Rollerboys skating toward the viewer in a flying V formation. This is the same shot used on the movie posters.
Most of the time the actors couldn't stay in sync, but the few times they did, the effect was much, much better.

This film took itself really seriously. Nevermind the heavy subject matter it tried to grapple with, there’s a clear attention paid to world building, fears of the time, and some attention to history (explored by presenting an alternative timeline). The trouble with this film is that considering its budget and the cast it used, they really just needed to lighten up and treat this as the satire it should’ve been. It isn’t as if satire isn’t capable of saying something meaningful.

Now for a little bit more about the people behind this movie. W. Peter Iliff is a producer and writer known for penning both the original Point Break, and the 2015 remake. I guess that’s why we got so many Venice Beach locations! Iliff is also the writer behind Varsity Blues starring James Van Der Beek. This guy really likes to write stories about white boys partying and acting out of pocket, good grief.

Rick King, on the other hand, doesn’t have any other notable director credits save for Kickboxer 3: The Art of War. He seemed to have better success as a producer, having co-produced the original Point Break, and later a bunch of less respectable but successful TV shows like Treasure Seekers, Untold Stories of the ER, and Shark Week.

A picture of the film's VHS box, complete with movie description on the back of the box and a dubious endorsement from the LA Times saying, 'Kinetic pizzaz...watch out for these guys...'. The front of the box shows the film title, 'Prayer of the Rollerboys' in stylized font, with a subheading underneath that reads, 'Better say your prayers, boy...They're coming.' There's the image of the Rollerboys skating toward the viewer in their flying V formation, whilst we see a faded Corey Haim and Patricia Arquette at the top of the box. There's another sketchy endorsement on the front that says, 'Hot skating stunts...Blood-pumping entertainment.' from Variety.
The VHS Box. These review endorsements are wack and highly doubtful. I like the design of the box, though, overall. The shot of the Rollerboys skating towards us is definitely what cemented my interest in the film, if I'm honest.

So what is my final verdict for this movie? How about this: While far from perfect, Prayer of the Rollerboys dares to use believable villains in a dystopia that touches on some real fears and looming realities we still experience today. The characters aren’t especially deep, and the main hero can certainly try your patience. Some of their decisions may baffle you, and most of the performances lack any kind of believable nuance, but it’s kinda part of the fun. Ultimately, Prayer of the Rollerboys DOES capture the right vibe, and it’s this that gives it a lasting charm.

I give it six skulls out of ten. (It lost a whole skull for the finger-licking scene. Seriously that was waaay too much.)

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/10

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