Cajeck's Lair

Prayer of the Rollerboys Review Pt. 1

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I've been fiending for a place to talk about my love of 80s, 90s, and 00s media. I've watched tons of Beverly Hills 90210 and never had anywhere I could really rant about it. I've been dying to share my thoughts on old Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jean Claude Van Damme movies, but if I tried people just stared blankly at me. I love Cobra Kai so much because I loved the Karate Kids films and yet no one wants to binge the show or movies with me for the billionth time. But more than that, where do I go for the weirder, more cult-status stuff? HOUSE, The Hunger, Dazed and Confused, Tower Records, American Cyborg: Steel Warrior, and District B-13?

WHAT ABOUT PRAYER OF THE ROLLERBOYS?!

I wanna talk about this…this THING starring Corey Haim (Lost Boys, Lucas, Silver Bullet), Patricia Arquette (A Nightmare on Elm Street 3, Medium, Boardwalk Empire, Severance - the TV Show, not the horror movie), and Mark Pellegrino (who voiced Jacob Seed in Far Cry 5, and starred in Beirut, Supernatural, and 13 Reasons Why). It was released during the height of the rollerskating craze. So from the fires of Mordor I’ve forged a page on my site to spill my guts about this insanity from Rick King and W. Peter Illiff.

I can't find information on how much this film earned, but it did get nominated for two Saturn Awards. One for Best Science Fiction Film, which it lost to Terminator 2: Judgement Day (talk about tough competition!) The other nomination being for Best Performance by a Younger Actor for Corey Haim, which he lost to Edward Furlong for, you guessed it, Terminator 2. Prayer for the Rollerboys really didn’t stand a chance. Terminator went on to sweep a bunch more awards from that year.

I don't think this film was critically well-received at the time of release, and even today its score isn't stellar on Rotten Tomatoes with a 65% audience score. Today, all the retro movie site reviews seem to be filled with scorn. But if the YouTube comments are anything to go off of, this movie has a loyal, albeit small, cult following.

Speaking of YouTube, because it may be considered "pirating" if I link it, I won't, but this movie is easily found in its entirety there in 4k.

I have more to say than I can coherently fit in this review, so I smooshed what more I could into most of the featured images that lack captions. Hover over the screenshots for more from me!

The summary from the movie’s wikipedia page does a solid job of describing the setting:

Griffin, an accomplished inline skater, works as a delivery boy in near-future dystopian Los Angeles. The city is overrun with poverty, crime, and drug use, and is considered one of the United States' only free territories in the wake of "The Great Crash": an economic catastrophe triggered by the greed of previous generations that has severely crippled the United States and left its properties up for grabs by foreign corporations and interests. Its effects are echoed by ominous events referenced throughout the film, including: news reports of riots in Washington D.C. (due to the Armed Forces going on strike); a television ad announcing that Harvard University and the Ivy League was moved to Japan, followed by a question from one of the characters if "there will be any Universities left in America"; a newspaper headline that proclaims "GERMANY BUYS POLAND"; and references to the Vatican hiring the Israeli Defense Forces to "clean up" Northern Ireland.

I’d like to add to the above summary that the Chinese yen has essentially replaced the American dollar in the US (though I think I remember one of the character’s saying something that suggested dollars were still in circulation and accepted, just vastly less valuable).

Just to preface things before we really get into it: this won’t be a complete plot summary of the film, because it’s so easy to watch and there’s other summaries you can find. I just wanna talk about the good stuff. I WILL do spoilers, though, so if you care about that, just watch the movie first. It’s not hard to find for free for heaven’s sake!

Our tale begins with Griffin, our “accomplished inline skater”, working as a delivery boy for a pizza joint. He’s struggling to make ends meet, and lives out of a tent. His parents died in a car crash a year prior, and he has an annoying little brother named Milton (often called, "Miltie") to take care of. His former childhood friend, Gary Lee, has become the leader of an affluent militant gang with an agenda. One of the opening scenes of the film shows Lee on multiple televisions delivering a speech in a propaganda push to recruit more members to his cause. Griffin wants nothing to do with them and just wants to get out of town. That’s the essential setup you need to know going forward.

The other thing you need to know is that Prayer of the Rollerboys is crazy. It’s an anti-drug and anti-racist film set in a futuristic dystopia where there is a militant drug-dealing rollerblading WHITE SUPREMACIST gang of young men who skate around in a flying V formation with matching white dusters. What's even crazier is that the creators of this movie have the racist gang say ACTUAL phrases and terms real white supremacists use. My jaw was hung wide open when in one scene they chanted "Day of the rope! Day of the rope!" So many times in films directors shy away from using the same terms verbatim. But not director Rick King! No, he went all in with it... And I kinda appreciate that. Replacing the real thing with nervous approximations doesn’t challenge our society, it just waters down the issues.

I can just hear the pitch to producer Rober Mickelson. "Are racists the bad guys? Then just plug in the real thing, it's not going to be less bat shit crazy, we promise."

Corey Haim does... not a great job acting, let’s be honest. But have I seen worse? Yes. He does most of his own stunts, at least. The boy can skate! But while he was twenty at the time of filming, he still comes across as a young teen. His voice even cracks during some of the intense moments. His youthful appearance just doesn’t lend itself to the role or the tone of the film, that’s really the biggest issue. His acting skills could’ve certainly been forgiven if he’d just stopped making those ridiculous faces.

Christopher Collet does arguably the best performance as the evil but charismatic Gary Lee, leader of the Rollerboys. Patricia Arquette is hammy as the undercover love-interest, Casey, but this is also very, very early in her acting career. Additionally, we don't get all that much time with her. If I had to put it on a scale, she still does better than Corey Haim, no offense to the guy. RIP.

The film strikes an effective tone and atmosphere. The Venice Beach locations are beautiful and of course such a perfect capture of the continuing fixation the early 90s had with beach culture (which, in all fairness, really started in the 80s.) Think of other movies and shows from around this era: Point Break, The Endless Summer 2, Baywatch, and the pervasive use of surfer lingo (TMNT saying "cowabunga" was not an accident!)

Set against the beautiful locales are distinct elements of decay. There’s lots of hobo camps and burning barrels. Everything is filthy and good tech is hard to come by. Children openly deal drugs on the streets and nutritious food is scarce. The people feel tribal, and in some cases, animalistic. Even the cops can’t seem to keep their pig wagons clean. They really tried to give the feeling of an urban wasteland. The only ones who seem to have it good and clean are the Rollerboys, who give off strong corporate vibes throughout the film.

One night, while delivering pizzas, Griffin sees a house fire. In a true Blake Snyder, “save the cat” moment, our hero stops the van and tries to help those inside. Most of the occupants are dead, but to his surprise, he finds Bullwinkle, a resentful and bloodthirsty Rollerboy. Apparently, a “rival gang” set fire to the house. (We learn later it was some dirty cops.)

In his efforts to save Bullwinkle, he runs afoul of his boss and the cops. How? To save the Rollerboy, Griffin used the pizza van to ram into the burning house and create a path of escape. The thing is totaled, and he finds himself owing his boss a new vehicle. When the responding officers show up, Griff tells them nothing and keeps his mouth shut about what really happened. But it does little for him, because now he’s on Officer Rodgers radar.

Later, Gary Lee shows up to force Bullwinkle to thank Griffin, which he does grudgingly. I’m not really sure why he so intensely dislikes Griffin at the start, considering the guy went out of his way to save his life, but he seems like a shitbag in general. That’s really about the depth of everyone’s characters, honestly.

“Why is he like that?”

“Because he sucks!”

Gary Lee promises Griffin to help him with anything he needs, and vows his “protection” to Miltie. Griffin tries to warn his little brother to stay away from the gang, but it’s obvious that Miltie is beyond impressed with them.

The problem with the van is suddenly solved when Gary Lee sends Griffin’s boss a brand new one. Griffin tries to tell his boss to give it back, but he refuses. Very quickly, our hero finds he and his brother getting in deeper with the Rollerboys against his wishes. Worse, the dirty cops have it out for him.

While sitting at his friend Speedbagger’s repair shop, Griffin is watching TV when the Rollerboys show up to harass the owner. Speedbagger is an older black man, ex-boxer, and father-figure who had allowed Griffin and Miltie to stay on his property after the loss of their parents. Griff tries to tell them to cut it out, and he fails to impress, but Bullwinkle calls off the harassment, citing his debt to Griffin.

After the gang leaves, Speedbagger asks our hero if he’s involved with them. Griffin tells him no, and Speedbagger replies, “The Rollerboys ain’t nothin’ new. This new chorus’ from the old chorus. And I know the next verse. And it ain’t synthesized, or transistorized, or sanctified. It’s coming. So say a prayer, boy. ‘Cause it’s coming soon.”

…I have no idea what the fuck he’s talking about.

Just to chime in here, one thing I didn't know until I did research for this movie: Julius Harris, the man who played Speedbagger, is a veteran actor. He's starred in over 70 movies and TV shows over his career. This includes the James Bond flick, Live and Let Die, the 1990 superhero film, Darkman, as well as blaxploitation films like Super Fly. He retired from acting in the late 90s, and passed away in 2004 at the age of 81.

We cut to night time where Griffin goes to a Rollerboy party looking to drag his little brother out. It’s Gary Lee’s birthday and he spares no expense. There’s girls and booze galore, all to NIN’s Head Like a Hole bumping in the background. Not a bad song choice for the gross indulgences of these pretty boy racists. Griffin isn’t exactly in a hurry as he slowly cruises through the various scenes of excess taking place around a lit up carousel. Most of the film’s nudity can be found in this portion, and I was taken aback by it. It’s in almost every shot of the party. When Griffin does find his little brother, it’s to find Miltie lustily cheering on two mud wrestling girls. He tries to convince his brother to come with him, but Gary Lee shows up and the two start talking. You can imagine what they said, because the film is that predictable:

“Y’know Griffin, you don’t have to keep delivering pizzas. You should consider joining up with us!”

“Ah… I dunno.”

Griffin really has a way with words.

After leaving the Rollerboy party (WITHOUT his brother, I might add) the dirty cops try to grab Griff, but he escapes, only to head straight into Officer Rodgers, the cop who hassled him outside of the house fire. Rodgers drags him back to the precinct and tries to convince Griffin to infiltrate the Rollerboys, but Griffin refuses.

In a really awkward and disjointed scene transition, we see Casey sitting in a poorly lit room that’s inexplicably filled with plastic covered boxes. She’s a street girl who hangs around the Rollerboys looking to get a hit of Mist (this is the Rollerboy’s illegal drug product). In the room with her is Rodgers, and they’re watching a tape of the attempt to recruit Griffin. Rodgers asks her if she thinks “he’s our boy.” She says flatly, “He’s a washout.” Apparently her acting like a drug addicted Rollerboy groupie is all an act. But we don’t get to spend any time with this revelation because the film quickly hurries along. The revelation scene itself was around twenty-five seconds long.

This was such a baffling decision. I don’t understand why they had to tip their hand that Casey is actually a cop, and in such an ABRUPT fashion! Wouldn’t it have been more dramatic to reveal LATER that she was undercover all this time? And instead of taking a moment to stay with her after the reveal, to y’know, EXPAND on her character, the movie just smash cuts to the next day. What was so vital to switch to that we couldn’t allow Casey’s character any sort of depth or sense of power for having all these skating nerds fooled?

Well CLEARLY it was beyond important to see Griffin pouting at the skate park before a random Rollerboy asks him when he’s joining up.

That’s it. Nothing else happens.

I guess Rick King just REALLY wanted those wide shots of the ocean in the background. Waaay more important than having a developed love interest.